Shayne ♥’s Blog






         3 words, 8 letters; say it and I’m yours.

January 5, 2009

it’s a love story baby just say YES.♥

Filed under: Uncategorized — lovehimnot @ 10:25 am

“i closed my eyes and the flashback starts, i’m standing there. ü”

so yeah, haha i’m still awake and i’m really not in the mood to make another wallowing type of blog with all the heartaches and love thinggy. No, i’m over that for now. hahaü

i don’t know, i just felt like blogging non sense and all that haha ♥

so maybe this is a stream of conciousness type of blog :)
so i’m gonna type whatever i feel like typing haha.ü

so now it’s 12:49am and i’m wide awake and full of energy.. and i’m actually soundtrippin. i just updated my friendster profile and my acct in facebook :) check em out haha :)
gosh, i’m lingering in memory lane NOW. haha weird i know, i shouldn’t be though haha :)
so yeah it just feels weird that i still feel giddy and all the butterflies in my tummy everytime i remember the USED TO BE’s. and it just hurts big time knowing that all i have are memories. could it be possible to have the COULD’VE BEEN’s?SHOULD’VE’s? i don’t know. in time we’ll know.ü

yeah i gotta admit, i STILL love you but I just do not WANT you anymore. why? i don’t know.. i just got tired knowing i was waiting for NOTHING.ü and i realized that if you REALLY love me that much and that if you wanted me back, you would do something about it. but you didn’t,you wouldn’t and you never will

i’m not trying to relive the hurt or whatsoever, i’m just trying to speak my mind now. you know.. me being vocal to what i really feel and what is going on inside my friggin mind :)
now, i know someday we’ll both be looking back to OUR history.. and i also know we will be laughing at our old dumb selves.ü

coz I though YOU already are the ONE. but i was wrong PERFECTLY WRONG

so you don’t have to worry about me interrupting your peaceful life coz i don’t and i wouldn’t care anymore.  and i realized that sometimes i gotta do myself a favor: TO TRY AND TRY TO LEAVE NOW BEFORE I GET 6 FEET UNDER BECAUSE OF THE DAMAGE THIS LOVE HAS CAUSED ME.

“..there is something i see in you.. it might kill me.”

yeah it’s killing me, little did i know that you are the person who’s gonna kill my soul. that fragile part of me..

so now, to end this.. maybe someday when we see each other again.. we’ll both be saying..

“..we were both young when i first saw you..ü”

you’ve crossed the line. too much.

Filed under: Uncategorized — lovehimnot @ 9:18 am

Can’t you be SENSITIVE enough? Can’t you even see that I AM IN PAIN and still, you DON’T CARE at all?What’s wrong? You make it seem like I am nothing to you. All i’m asking is care. Show me that I AM SPECIAL, the same way I DO TO YOU. I can’t live with this forever. It maybe your call, but I AM already TIRED of this game you want me to play. You have exceeded MY PATIENCE. YOU HAVE CROSSED THE LINE.
Your complexity makes me wonder sometimes, ARE YOU REALLY WORTH IT? We get to this point all the time. You are so UNPREDICTABLE. I can’t bear with this coz’ I dont think I DESERVE IT. Can’t you just be MORE CONSISTENT?

WHAT IF WE’RE NOT REALLY GOING ANYWHERE, WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE ME? Don’t you even think that it’s SO UNFAIR?

I have given a lot. I have showed a lot. But I didn’t gain anything from it. Just the realization that maybe it really isn’t you after all.

So now, I’M GONNA DO IT YOUR WAY. NO MORE EFFORTS. NO MORE. YOU HAVE CROSSED THE LINE. I AM TIRED. I AM IN PAIN, YET YOU STILL DON’T CARE.

I GIVE UP.

November 7, 2008

so right :)

Filed under: Uncategorized — lovehimnot @ 5:45 am

i can only wait for as long as this heart beats for YOU. after that, you’re on your own.:p

October 13, 2008

for you and all of you BOYS! :)

Filed under: Uncategorized — lovehimnot @ 4:05 am
You arent going to be her first, her last, or her only. She’s loved before, she will love again, but if she loves you now what else matters? Shes not perfect. You arent either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if she can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to her and give her the most you can. She isnt going to quote poetry, shes not thinking about you every moment, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you could break. Dont hurt her, dont change her, dont expect more than she can give. Dont analyze. Smile when she makes you happy, yell when she makes you mad, and miss her when shes not there. Love hard when there is love to be had.

October 9, 2008

he’s a jerk and i’m a loser. a loser in lalala love ♥

Filed under: Uncategorized — lovehimnot @ 5:18 am

Here’s to all those girls who used to be his number one.


The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check your cellphone the next morning and be
disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, “I only want to be your friend“, one day, then listened to him say that he loves and misses you, and the next when he doesn’t want to be anything at all. Here’s to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change.

We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, got crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him even for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.

Here’s to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here’s for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn’t possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn’t treat us the way we should be treated.

Here’s for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest everything, only to hear him say that he couldn’t see us today.
The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn’t believe that he could do this to us again.

This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time
because they couldn’t bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder “what if”.
This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation.
The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us.
When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn’t mean it.

This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with.

This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that “You’re just not the one for me.” or maybe, “things were going too fast, I’m just not ready. (Then later on find out he has a damn girlfriend already.)

Here’s to the girls who couldn’t cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt.
The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn’t bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an “I told you so.
The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again.

We knew that we deserved better the entire time
, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us when ever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.
Here’s for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave one thought about them.
Here’s for the time that he took to waste, breaking your heart … again.

This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment.
Here’s for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better.
This is for those confusing days, when you miss him,and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist.

Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass,sometimes it’s better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt all over again.
Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that.
When your song comes on the radio, turn the station.
When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off.
When he tries coming to your house, don’t answer the door.

Think of all the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the
HELL he was.
Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn’t him, and realized that once again, he hadn’t called when he said he was going to.
One day, you’ll find a guy who’s worth all the tears, but he won’t make you cry. You may think that you’ll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will.
It’s gonna hurt like hell, and it’s going to need time to heal, but the point is,
it will heal.

October 7, 2008

for the meantime? *creds to ate didin*

Filed under: Uncategorized — lovehimnot @ 5:28 am
She`s the one you call when you`re bored because she makes you laugh. She`s the one you talk to when you`re feeling down because she`s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She`s not the one you call when you need a date to your company`s Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She`s the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find `The One`. You know, the one you keep in the MEANTIME.


She`s not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don`t look at her as a “real” woman, either. She`s not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in the light. She`s too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She`s too understanding, too comfortable. Doesn`t make you feel nervous or excited the way a `real` woman does. But she`s cool, nice and funny, and attractive enough that when you`re lonely and need intimate female companionship, she`ll do just fine.


You don`t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don`t have any facades to keep up, no pretense to preserve. You`re not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She`s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you. And you know that you don`t have to explain yourself or the situation, that she`ll be able to cope with the fact that this isn`t the beginning of a relationship or that there`s any possiblity that you have any real romantic feelings for her.

But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don`t.. because to you, the situation between the two of you isn`t important enough to merit any real thought) you know that it`s really NOT FAIR…

You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don`t think she`s good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it`s mostly her fault, because she doesn`t have to give in to your needs - she could really play hard-to-get. Bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn`t pull it off. Maybe she`s too short, or a little overweight, or has big birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell, or just really not that type.

Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman.


You`ll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she`ll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.

She doesn`t captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile.

Mainly, she blends in with the crowd. She`s safe. She doesn`t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone`s head. She wants to be SPECIAL to someone, too. We all do.

She has feelings. She has heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger heart than any woman you`ve ever known because she`s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and SHE LIKES YOU ANYWAY.

She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you`ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around,
she is.

October 1, 2008

never thought..

Filed under: Uncategorized — lovehimnot @ 7:10 pm
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that’s how it’s got to be
It’s coming down to nothing more than apathy
I’d rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who’s still standing when it clears..:(

Let’s rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage..
To say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that’s disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument..
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I’m becoming
the part that don’t last
I’m losing you and it’s
EFFORTLESS.
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down..

September 26, 2008

to all you jealous girls :)

Filed under: Uncategorized — lovehimnot @ 2:51 am

To all the jealous girls:

Instead of sitting there hating the girl he’s dating, why don’t you go hang out with him. Yes, some of you may use the excuse “he doesn’t even know i exist”.

Well, then find a way to get noticed.

You’re a heck of a lot smarter than them guys, I’m sure you can think of something. You just may find out he really isn’t the guy for you. Or, on a more positive note, he may find that he likes you a lot more than that other girl.

-creds to Mosh of Multiply :)

September 22, 2008

copied from cathe :)

Filed under: Uncategorized — lovehimnot @ 6:18 am

& this girl,this girl is so different from all the others.
I love every damn thing about her,
she doesn’t even know.
She’s so sheltered, you know?
I could name a list of all the things she’s never done, but she’s gone through more
than most people ever will.

I love how incredibly innocent she can be,
but at the same time, she has this wild side
that I couldn’t have imagined existed.
She’s been hurt,
but that only makes me want to protect her even more.
No, it makes me want to go and shoot every damn asshole who had the nerve to do that.
I remember one day, sitting in my truck,
her head on my chest,
I could hear her breathing..
her eyes were closed,
her tiny heart beating in that beautiful little frame.
I thought to myself
“Baby, if I could wake up this way for the rest of my life,I would always be happy.”

She’s a challenge, a puzzle,
and I want to solve her.
I want to figure her out.
I want to understand her.
Maybe then I could figure out
why I’m so crazy about her.

And this girl..she hasn’t lived yet.
She’s existed, given her life to other people
who don’t love her, who will never love her the way I do
.
I want to take her to places she’s never been before, take her to oceans, mountains, the stars..
anywhere just so I can be there
to see the look on her face when she opens her eyes.
I want to give her the life she’s been missing.
I want to show her the closest thing I can find
to match how beautiful she is,
and when it takes her breath away,
I’ll tell her that is how I feel every time I look at her.
I want to be able to make her forget all about her past, all her mistakes, all her regrets.
Break her free from this mindset
that she will never be good enough,
that she isn’t perfect.
She’s the closest thing to perfect I’ve ever seen.
I want to break the chains that hold her back,
because, hell, if this is how amazing
she is locked up..
I want to set her free.

September 12, 2008

got this from a contact from multiply. hehe. ouch. haha :) dapat last night pa to eh, ♥

Filed under: Uncategorized — lovehimnot @ 1:07 am

I kept searching for you.
I kept yearning for your CARE...

It’s YOU who I ran to.
It’s YOU who made me STRONG.

It is YOU who NEVER failed to be there in times I broke down.
It’s you who STOOD BY ME.
You gave me a HUG when everyone turned their backs on me.

And I just cant seem to imagine living WITHOUT YOU…


YOU ARE MY SAVIOR.
YOU ARE MY FRIEND.

I HURT you. I made you CRY.
Yet, YOU didn’t leave me BEHIND..
.

Now that youre slowly drifting away, it’s ME who needs to understand. It’s me who needs to accept the BITTER FACT that it’s now time to
LET GO
.


This would hurt a lot but it is a necessity now.

A better OPTION to be FAIR to me and most especially to YOU.

At this moment, the perfect choice I have to consider is…

TO LET YOU BE…


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