Mortality. (copied from my blog @ blogspot)
Ok. There. I let my guard. Even for just a bit. And this is what happens…
I don’t want to get into nitty-gritty of it all, I’ll definitely bore anyone to death but as I said, I took a deep breath and let down my guard and everything turned out great…until now. It’s not final though, it’s just that I was once again made to realize that loving is not all about that giddy feeling and the perpetual-slash-perma-smil
“Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything. “
Love is a test of character and in my case it’s a test of how far I’m willing to go and change (for the better). I’m proud and not ashamed to admit it. I hold on to my principles and beliefs too strongly that I often fail to see that it’s possible to have a different angle or two sides on the same side of the coin. I’m awfully stubborn too. And admit it, being stubborn and proud isn’t exactly the best combination.
What I’ve learned from this experience? Love can be shitty. You find obstacles and sudden dead-ends that you never foresaw. And you bump into it in one swift motion. Frustrating! It’s like you’d want to take U-turn and wish real hard that you never fell in love. But wake up! Life isn’t some video or game or car ride. Face it. Let it sink in and yes, you may feel hurt or betrayed, lost and confused but when I felt all those things I realized no matter how immortal I may feel, how jaded I may seem, or how strong I may be, I felt at that moment VULNERABLE. Even the greatest superheroes have their frailties and weaknesses, even superheroes fall in love. And in that they become mortal, no different from me, no different from you.
Is love the great equalizer? The great “humanizer”?
I dunno. I say it brings people together yet sets them apart.
No matter how much you try to steer yourself away from the pain, it gets to you sooner or later because we are, after all, human.
This is what happens if I let down my guard but as my friend said, “what’s the use of loving if you don’t show it?” and yeah, showing it entails me understanding first how it is to love…
So right now, I’m in the dumps…tomorrow perhaps will be another story.
