Shayne ♥’s Blog

ok. so now I’m here sitting not even sure if I’m going to create an oh-so-nice blog entry since everything fell apart just some minutes ago. and yeah, fell apart, some minutes ago. so that’ll give you the idea that I was just effin’ happy before that some minutes ago scenario.crap. my fault though, I shouldn’t have checked out his profile. lame me. ok, shout at me like, “shayne you are effin lame to even check out his profile! you know what to expect from there!”. ok now, I’m getting there. realizing that I am pathetically lame to check it evry once in a while. ok, every day.  darn it. why can’t I get rid of him? so, every single word i saw from there is haunting me as of the moment. lame! promises. chocolates. being with you. name it! then kill me now. oh please! can someone stab me from my peaceful yet not peaceful sleep tonight? I’ll give you a price for that. ugh!

alright, now maybe when the people who knows what I’m going through right now and the people involved here read this.. I bet they’ll like laught if off or utter: crap shayne! stop that fucking thing. it’s useless and senseless. alright, alright. we’re there. it’s useless. senseless and it’s fuck. but how can I possibly do away with it when everytime I see his picture it just swallows the entire me. call me whatever you want, I wouldn’t care! I’m just being vocal about certain things. you know, they bug me. ok they annoy the hell out of the bitch in me. but every time those sweet lips and those god-awfully cute puppy eyes pops out my mind it just melts the hell out of the bitch in me.  which is the sweetest bullshit I’ve ever felt. I can’t believe I’m losing my sanity over those crappy-cute sweet nothings from him. I shouldn’t be right? It’s just so shitty hard. Ok it’s not as hard as swallowing a huge piece of jawbreaker, but it’s hard as giving away your favorite shirt to someone who can actually use it and take care of it more than you did.

Ouch. is.all.I.can.say. and I say it’s hell! what did I do to deserve this? I mean yeah, people need to feel the need to sacrifice something over a thing.  but, heck. I have been like sacrificing a lot. and I mean, A LOT. sacrificed my happiness for my birthday over that break up thing the morning of my birthday. the i-forgot-that-it-was-your-birthday lines. i actually sacrificed my birthday. just to handle everything that unexpectedly came. oh maybe it was a gift from the evil side of my world. yeah, thank you for those. I aprreciated you making me goddamn sad. and screwed up. and yeah, fucked the hell up. I don’t want to vent everything out in here. so I’ll just stop here and pray to GOD that hopefully when I wake up from this nightmare. I will be more than OKAY. :T